Thursday, August 11, 2011

Monday, March 09, 2009


(Inside City Auditorium 1st floor: People are walking around) (Eventually, OLLIE, ROOK, and JOAN meet up)
OLLIE: The only part of Drake Oy Trust is 'is visions.
ROOK & JOAN: Well, that's one of us.
OLLIE: Okay, Joan, me and Rook are gonna look around 'ere for a killer, and–
ROOK: When you say "look around" you mean, you'll look around and I'll–
JOAN: Make out with some girl in a closet.
ROOK(suddenly exited): Okay!
OLLIE: Oy really do need help 'ere. Drake said someone's gonna die 'ere.
JOAN: Then he should've come and found them and we could get them out.
OLLIE: Well, Drake's on 'is way.
JOAN: Good, SO what did you say I'm doing?
OLLIE: Go upstairs.

(2nd Floor Dark Room: DRAKE is setting up a sniper gun)
DRAKE: Isn't this great? (pause) Yeah, he's got no idea!

(2nd floor: JOAN is walking around looking at people's purses) (SKUL walks up to her)
SKUL: This really isn't a very effective way to find a potential killer.
JOAN: Well, I can't think of anything else!
SKUL(to everyone)(holding up her badge): Okay! Gentlemen, empty you pockets, Ladies, turn out your purses. Whoever has the gun, is the murderer.
JOAN: Is this why you're in charge?
SKUL: Joan, you're in charge.
JOAN: Yey!
SKUL(sarcastically): That's what I said to.
JOAN: Really?
SKUL(sarcastically): Yeah, sure. (pulls out her cell phone) Drake? (pause) Yeah. (pause) Get to the Auditorium, NOW!
JOAN: Is he coming?

(OLLIE, SKUL, JOAN, and ROOK are standing around BEETLE's body)
OLLIE: 'E'll be okay.
SKUL: Yeah, pretty close.
JOAN & ROOK: IS somebody not telling us stuff?
OLLIE: We 'aven't been able to kill 'im.
ROOK: Why'd you try!?
OLLIE: Long Story.
SKUL: Not really

Monday, February 23, 2009


NARRATOR: No one asks to be special. Some are born special.
JENNY (NARRATION): I beg to differ.
NARRATOR: Some earn specialness. Some have greatness thrust upon them. And some have the misfortune of being mutated into freaks by Jenny. Jenny had made it her goal to Mutate the whole of Blue-Canary-ville.

(Gang Hideout: FIL, ROOK, BEETLE, and SUE are standing [in that order] on a stage w/ JENNY and OLLIE in the audience)

(FIL pulls the pipe out of her head and laughs psychodicly)(JENNY and OLLIE laugh louder)
FIL: I could get used to this!(ROOK falls) (OLLIE laughs, JENNY hits him)
ROOK: Jerk
OLLIE: Oy know (BEETLE explodes) (OLLIE, JENNY, FIL, and ROOK laugh, while SUE cries) You need a 'ug?
SUE: A what?
JENNY: A "hug," Eh.
SUE: Not from you! (SUE bleeds from her eyes and reveals Vampire Fangs)
JENNY: Well that didn't work, Eh.

(Ollie's Office) (OLLIE and JENNY waltz in)
JENNY: Feeling okay?
OLLIE: Oy'm not supposed to, am I?
JENNY: Right, Eh.
OLLIE: 'Ow many time do we 'ave to kill Beetle?
JENNY: I don't know, Eh. He's more immortal than most Vampires. He lived through being poisoned and beaten over the head, Eh. We also Burned him and sucked out his blood. And if he lived through an explosion...
OLLIE: We'll keep trying! New methods every time! He can't live through it all!
JENNY: That's what we do, now. We kill for the greater good, Eh.
OLLIE: Hmph.
JENNY: Well are good to, Eh. (OLLIE laughs) We're going to make sure he stays dead some time. So you never told me how you feel.
OLLIE(distorted voice): Fine.
JENNY: Good. (begins to purr)

(Alley: BEETLE is limping around) *crawling* (BEETLE stomps) *squish* (BEETLE picks something up and puts it in his mouth) *chewing*

Saturday, February 21, 2009


(OLLIE is standing by BEETLE who is tied to a chair)
OLLIE: Oy'm sorry you 'ave to end like this.
BEETLE: Someone will come for you! I have friends everywhere!
OLLIE: I bought a ticket to Bangkok in your name. And all your Thai friends think you're moving here.
BEETLE: You don't think someone will try to contact me?
OLLIE: If they do, (pause) Oy don't care. (OLLIE spreads gasoline allover the floor)
BEETLE: Please!

(Ollie's Office: OLLIE is rapidly hitting keys on hit computer) (JENNY walks in)
JENNY: What game are you playing now, Eh?
OLLIE: Interactive Buddy!
JENNY: Ooo! Eh.
OLLIE: Oy know! (SUE runs in in tears)
SUE: Ollie!
OLLIE: What?
SUE: Beetle...
OLLIE: What about 'im?
SUE: He's gone!
OLLIE: Well, he was trying-
SUE: No, Ollie, nothing. (SUE gets up and leaves)
JENNY: Well, It's hopeless.
OLLIE: Oy won't take that
OLLIE: What?
JENNY: If you don't give up she'll say yes, after a while!
OLLIE: Well, Oy don't know. She makes it so hard. (SKUL walks in)
SKUL: Heeeeey!
OLLIE: Why so friendly all of a sudden?
SKUL: Well...
JENNY: We tried to kill you! Eh!
OLLIE: (whispering to JENNY): We did kill 'er.
SKUL: I think we should ignore that.
JENNY: You want to ignore being killed?
OLLIE: Shouldn't you be a zombie then, if Janie used the fluids on you?
SKUL: Yeah. (OLLIE and JENNY exchange puzzled looks) I drained all the blood out of a guy who was dieing in a burning building. He was a vampire. I know because his body was dissolving in the fire. (OLLIE[guilty] and JENNY[mad] look at eachother)
OLLIE: What did you do w/ the body?
SKUL: I let it dissolve.
OLLIE: Don't worry Jenny it'll be gone then.
JENNY: Maybe.

(News station [Aanül's Booth: AANÜL is broadcasting)
AANÜL(Indian Accent): Good Morning, Blue-Canary-ville. I am your anchor, Aanül Trusterson. I'm filling in for News and Flash today. (clapping)

Saturday, February 14, 2009


(Ollie's Office: An empty box of Chocolate is sitting on the desk) (OLLIE pops up from behind the desk)
OLLIE: Well, Oy lived through another Valentine's Day! (SUE walks in) Oy spoke to soon. (OLLIE falls behind the desk again.
SUE: Ollie? (Sets another box of chocolate on OLLIE's desk, and leaves)
(^later: JENNY walks in. (JENNY picks up the box of chocolate, and starts eating it
OLLIE: Can Oy 'ave some of that?
OLLIE: It means Oy don't care, or I'm bored.