Accents

(Outside mob hideout) (FIL[w/ a Pole driven through her head and a helmet] drives up on a motorcycle)(FIL looks around)

(Police Briefing room: OLLIE, ABBY, and TONY are sitting)
ABBY: -and that's why I tasered a ten year old!(Awkward pause)
OLLIE: Well we need an inside man in the Canadian mob
TONY(Indian accent): Do we have any officers they don't know?(ABBY/OLLIE look at TONY) Why are you two looking at me like that? Who is it?

(Jenny's Bar: FIL/JANIE is bar tending)
OLLIE(Narration): Tony (Tony[w/ fake mustache] walks in)
TONY(Canadian accent): Janie, Eh?
JANIE: Yeah. Wotcha want?
TONY: I'm Jackson. Eh. I'm lookin' for you.
JANIE: Get in line, Eh.
TONY: I just wanna see if you've got my package. Eh
JANIE: You're that V.I.P. client Jenny was talking about
OLLIE(Narration): But, What happens when the real Jackson shows up?
TONY: I've got an assassin after me and I need some protection.
JANIE: I'll see if Fil can guard your house-.
TONY: No I need to stay here.
JANIE: The bar isn't very safe. We've already got people trying to burn this place down. Eh
TONY: Then you and this Fil will stay with me. Eh.
JANIE: Okay, but, eh, I don't trust you, eh.
TONY: What? (Pause) Eh.
JANIE: I'll get Jenny.
(JENNY walks in)
JENNY: Hell Mr. Jackson. Eh. (they shake hands)
TONY: Yes. Eh. So this is your bar, eh?
JENNY: It wasn't always so amazing, Eh. (RÍA walks in) Ría, how dare you show your face in my bar!?
RÍA (Canadian accent): I hear you want me dead, eh?
JENNY: You'd hared right. Now get out, eh. (RÍA she doesn't) (TONY throws a chair at the wall)
TONY: Are you deaf, eh? She said get out! (Pause) Eh!
JENNY: Eh!
JANIE: Eh!
(JENNY pins RÍA down w/ a chair) (The crowd erupts in a bar fight)
JENNY: You, eh, messed, eh, with the wrong mob, Ría. (the wall blows up creating a hole) (FIL walks in) (Everyone stops)
FIL (to TONY): Hello, Jackson, or Tony since you are a police officer. (Rips off the fake mustache) You're busted. (LOOLI walks in w/ a swat team)
LOOLI: Oy want everybody in this room arrested except for Tony.
TONY(Indian accent): just in-
FIL (Picking up a gun to TONY's head): Okay nobody move! (to JANIE:) You!, come with me. (FIL[w/ gun], JANIE[casually], and TONY[scared] walk out)
LOOLI (to one of the swat people): Isn't it your job to make sure that doesn't 'appen!

(Gang cell: TONY is tied to a chair)(FIL and JANIE[cracking knuckles] walk in)
FIL: Now tell us everything you know about Police intelligence.
TONY: You aught to know, Fil. It was your job to design weapons.
FIL: Well you got me fired! (Pause) (to JANIE:) Kill him

(Hanes' Cacino)
RÝ and TÝ:


(^Later: OLLIE is siting at a table w/ TÝ)
OLLIE: What can you tell me about the Canadian mob?
TÝ (Minnesota accent): Terrible people, don'tcha know! My sister, Rý tried to get envolved, but they wouldn't let her in, because she's from Minnesota.
OLLIE: What 'appened after that?
TÝ: Fil was mad, so she queet and so I'm told she's got a pole stuck through her head!
OLLIE: So Fil and Rý are still freinds?
T Ý: Well I'm supposed to tell you, but Fil was in here the other day with a Canadian and an Indian.
OLLIE: That's perrfect!

(Backstage: OLLIE is looking around)(RÝ walks up)
RÝ (Minnesota accent): What are ya doin' back here?
OLLIE: You helped Fil and Janie kidnap Tony and I'm gonna prove it!
RÝ: Okay. (leaves) (OLLIE steps on a floorboard that opens a trap door) (OLLIE goes in)(RÝ fallows him)

(Gang cell: TONY is tied to a chair) (OLLIE walks in)
TONY: Hey Ollie. (Pause) You should move (FIL ambushes OLLIE) (RÝ walks down)
FIL: You said nobody'd be down here!
RÝ: It's my sister's fault, she let him search the place. (FIL ties up OLLIE and leaves w/ RÝ) (OLLIE gets out a knife and cuts TONY out of the ropes) (TONY does the same)
OLLIE: Nice workin' with ya! (They run out)

(Backstage: OLLIE and TONY are standing around, FIL, RÝ, and JANIE are handcuffed) (TÝ walks in)
TÝ: What are you doin'!
OLLIE: Your sister had my freind tied up in your basement
TÝ: But me and Rý have to be on in five minnites! (OLLIE and TONY look at eachother)
TONY: No!
OLLIE: Yes!

(Cacino)
OLLIE/TONY: